Taxicab Depressions

In theatrical script writing, sketch stories, and poetry, a vignette is a short impressionistic scene that focuses on one moment or gives a trenchant impression about a character, an idea, or a setting, and sometimes an object. -Wikipedia

Girls, skip this post. Really. Move on…

No, really. Move on. Nothing to see here.

OK, guys, quick and dirty… literally. No thoughtful editing, just slapping it up there. Apologies in advance, but I am still laughing about this guy, four hours later.

A guy in his middle twenties gets in my car tonite that has had a few drinks, and he wants to go to this area of the beach where there is a cluster of bars. He’s a little fucked up, but not too bad. After we have driven a few blocks, he says he has changed his mind and wants to go to a specific beach bar that is another ten minutes up the road. There’s some hot bitches at that place… he’s got some friends there already, and they texted him saying that there are hot chicks everywhere, and they say he needs to get his ass out there. He stands a good chance of getting laid, or at least getting a blowjob from some drunk slutty beach chick.

Then a moment or two later, he says, “Ya know what…? Fuck that, just take me home… 444 Starfish Lane…”

I said, “You’re sure? That’s the third change of destination in four minutes…”

He says, “Yeah, fuck it… I’m drunk enough, and I’m just going to get in more trouble at the bar. My wife is gonna have my ass in the morning anyway…”

I laughed, and he said, “What?”

I said, “You reminded me of an old joke… a naked woman in a bed calls out, “Honey, turn off the TV and come to bed!” And a man picks up a remote control and clicks off the TV and says, “Might as well… I’m going to catch hell when I get home anyway…”

The guy laughed, and said, “You know why God created yeast infections?”

“Why?”

“So women would also know what it is like to live with an irritating cunt.”

Laughing. So. Hard.

And I said, “Dude, you just made my blog.”