Taxicab Depressions

Never before has it happened that a post here gets both the Politics and Douchebags tags, but here we are. I was sitting in one of my favorite spots downtown several days ago, when a silver SUV pulled up a few parking spaces away, and a fashionable guy in a tie got out and went into a restaurant. Moments later, he came back out to the SUV, and out steps none other than Florida Democrat candidate for Governor, Charlie Crist. I actually met Charlie years ago before he was Governor, back in the good ole days when he at least appeared to have some principles, and supported gun rights, traditional marriage, and limited abortion. But after watching his shameful opportunism and flip-flopping on matters of principle solely for the advancement of his own political career, I utterly detest this douchebag. When it was clear he couldn’t win his Senate run as a Republican, he ran as an Independent and split the Democrat vote. If Democrats had a shred of integrity at all, they should all despise this clown for what he did to Kendrick Meeks. Changing his affiliation yet again to Democrat and tongue-kissing the Worst President In History was the last straw for me… the only job this jackass cares about is his own. In my view, a man so morally rudderless and bereft of personal convictions should be permanently disqualified for public office under any party’s banner.

So here is Charlie, glad-handing and posing for cellphone photos with people on the street, and slinging his oversized bumper stickers, right in front of me. I texted my wife

Charlie Fuggin’ Crist is standing right in front of my car.

And my wife texted back

Don’t hit him LOL

I got a call a moment later and went on a short ten or fifteen minute fare. I returned to my spot, and the silver SUV is still there, and his two metrosexual handlers (or is the term “fluffers”?) are on the sidewalk outside. A few minutes later, Charlie walked out of the restaurant and walks straight out to the street, twelve or fifteen feet from my window. He looked directly at me and gave me a “thumbs up” and hesitated, as though he was about to walk up to my window and give me a sticker. One of his fashionable handlers yells, “This way!”

I stuck my head out the window and gave him a thumbs up, and yelled, “Marco Rubio 2016!”

Charlie looked at me a little blankly for a second, and then his thumb turns toward his car, and he says, “I need to go this way…” and he turned away from me and walked quickly to the SUV.

I hope that moment haunts him, but I doubt it will; you need character to be bothered by something like that. Not that Marco Rubio would be my first choice In 2016, but he has to be better than the Chicago crime syndicate running our country today. And don’t think I’m thrilled to pull the lever for Rick Scott… I’m really getting tired of voting for the lesser of two evils. It is still voting for evil, and it pisses me off. America needs a lot fewer crooks and career politicians, and a few more statesmen.