Vignette: The Angry Red Penis

Posted: 5th December 2012 by Taxi Hack in Uncategorized
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In theatrical script writing, sketch stories, and poetry, a vignette is a short impressionistic scene that focuses on one moment or gives a trenchant impression about a character, an idea, or a setting, and sometimes an object. -Wikipedia

I picked up a guy the other nite at an apartment complex, where he was visiting a friend and now going home, about a ten dollar fare. No red flags about the guy, nothing weird or creepy, he wasn’t even drinking… just some idle chit-chat on the drive. He mentioned he worked at Wal-Mart and complained about his part-time hours and his pay, and he mentioned that he always has to work Sundays and never gets to watch football any more. We get to his place, he pays his fare, he tips me two or three bucks, and he heads into his house… an imminently forgettable passenger.


About an hour after I dropped him off, my phone makes the new message chime, and there is a truly obscene text message, detailing how the sender wanted to perform all sorts of perverse and salacious acts upon me, and attached to the message was a photo of an extremely turgid, red, and very angry looking penis.

I had no idea who it was from, and I looked through my phone history and discovered it was from the Wal-Mart guy who I had called when I arrived at the apartments an hour earlier. Like I said, I got no weird vibe from him at all… he didn’t seem gay, and certainly didn’t seem like someone who would snap a photo of his throbbing and tumescent erection and text it to a stranger…

Really? Does this ever work? I mean, I can’t imagine that anyone would start their engine and head back to his house after getting that text, but maybe I’m too hetero or too prudish. I was revolted and repelled. But, I guess it is like those emails from that Prince in Nigeria that needs your help getting 14 million dollars transferred to your bank account… you would never see that if it had not worked at least once…

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