Flashback: The Bridesmaids

Posted: 9th March 2013 by Taxi Hack in Uncategorized
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Ahhh, springtime in Florida… wedding season. Every girl wants that picture-perfect May or June dream wedding on the beach at sunset, and people come from all over the country to have a wedding on the beach. And so where I work, it is quite common to see a gaggle of 5 or 6 girls in smeared makeup and ghastly lavender dresses staggering down the sidewalk late at night, led by a group of guys wearing vomit and grass-stained rented tuxedos, lurching into the street to flag down a taxi.

So back when I had only been on the job for just a few months, I get a call at around midnight to a beach resort to pick up “Jennifer”, and sitting out front on a bench are two really wasted girls wearing identical fuscia bridesmaids dresses. One is about 30 or 32 and looks kinda like Janet from the 70’s sitcom Three’s Company, a cute, petite brunette with a bobbed hairstyle. The other girl is a really pretty black girl about 25 years old, 5-9ish, thin and willowy, and long curly hair.

How did I know they were wasted? Well, you drive a taxi for just a few months, and you become a human breathalyzer… I can spot a .221 drunk with surprising accuracy today. I noticed that these girls were sitting about eighteen inches apart, but leaning on each other shoulder-to-shoulder in an inverted V shape, intuitively utilizing the inherent physics and stability of this form in order to keep from falling off the bench.

I pull up in front of them and the short brunette begs me to take them back to their resort hotel, less than a mile up the road. They are entirely too wasted to walk this five dollar fare, and their matching clunky white heels aren’t helping. They might be a puke risk, but they are only going a mile or so… so I chance it and tell them to get in. The white girl helps the black girl to her feet, and leaning on each other, they stagger to the car. I’m wondering if I made a mistake, because they suddenly look A LOT more wasted now that they are on their feet. As they get in, I say, “Nobody is gonna get sick, right?” They assure me that they are both OK, but I am not completely convinced.

So I hit the road quickly with the intent of getting them out of my car ASAP… and I’m perfectly OK with the notion of “screw the tip, just gimme 5 bucks and get the hell outta my car before somebody heaves and kills my night…” I can hear them talking softly in the back seat, but can’t make out what they are saying. I get just a few blocks away from their hotel, when I hear low, guturral groan from the back seat…


And I thought, “Shit! One of them is puking! Dammit!” I snatched the wheel hard right and zipped into the parking lot of a strip mall, slammed it in park, flipped on the interior light, and looked into the back seat.

The black girl is sitting back there with her head lolled back and her 34C breasts out of her dress, panties down below her calves, and the dress itself pulled up around her waist. The brunette is feverishly biting and sucking the closer of the black girl’s nipples, with three fingers buried knuckles-deep in her cooch, and she is rooting around in there like she has lost her car keys. This scene goes on for no less than 90 seconds, the black girl moaning and groaning the entire time, eyes closed, before the brunette notices that the interior light is on, we have been stopped for close to two minutes, and the taxi driver is staring at them.

She makes eye contact with me, and she looks like she is about to say something, but then returns her attention to the black girl. And over the next two or three minutes, I watched her positively yank an orgasm out of the black girl. This was live amateur lesbian porn, very intense and very real, taking place in arm’s reach in my back seat.

Really? Really? Does this shit really happen? This felt positively surreal, like I am being punked… or this is some sorta test, and there are surveillance cameras watching right now, observing what I say or do next.

And if I were to say something, just what does one say at a moment like this, anyway? “Hey, stop that”…?

The black girl is trembling and gasping, and the other girl looks at me and tells me to proceed to their hotel. And over the last few blocks, the car REEKS of pussy, and they are whispering to each other about scheduling vacations in a month or two, with the white girl saying, “you have to come back down here as soon as you can“, and the black girl saying , “yes, yes, I can put in for vacation for the week of the 18th…”

I pulled up in front of the resort, stopped the car, turned on the interior light, but they both kept discussing their next rendezvous… paying me no attention whatsoever. They are wasted and in the afterglow, and the white girl whispers, “I’ll be at your room in 10 minutes…” She glances up at the meter, not at me, pulls about sixteen or eighteen crumpled dollars out of her purse and drops them on the front seat, never making eye contact with me, like I am a non-entity, not even there in the car with her. She gets out and ushers the wasted and trembling black girl into the lobby of the resort, and the newbie taxi driver drives away, wondering for the rest of the night if there is some sort of paperwork he needs to fill out regarding this incident.

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