Remember Me?

Posted: 4th May 2016 by Taxi Hack in Uncategorized

A very long gap in posts, I know. A lot has changed in my life, but I am seeing your comments and getting your emails… Ken, Gal, Murph, Tom in Singapore, Loomis, Gramma Marlene, Kaiser, nomo, Plumber, Sandee, Palmer, diggity… thank you. It’s nice to know people care.

It’s not that I don’t want to post or have no material… I just watched Cruz concede on TV, and I could write volumes on Trump, Hillary, Bernie, #TrigglyPuff… there is material everywhere. But I owe you guys a full explanation for this absence, and so I will start writing that post tomorrow. The problem is that I have about a dozen pressing things happening right now, and I am lucky to get a half hour of quiet time to write anymore.

But I have indeed been writing, when I can find a few minutes; I have 39 raw chapters of stuff for the book on my iPad, stuff that needs proofreading and polishing and editing, but I am literally working all damned day. I just told my wife the other day that my daily schedule has been reduced to doing what will cost me the most or hurt me the most or fuck me up the most if not completed… do I meet this deadline, or cut the grass? Do I work on this project, or that project? Since my writing doesn’t pay (yet), it becomes a low priority, behind household duties and work that DOES pay.

It’s 3:14 am as I write this… I have to go to bed, because I have to be up no later than 8 am… but a new post IS coming, in the next few days, just to let you guys know what is up.

Thank you again…

Leadership 101: How To Speak Like A President

Posted: 25th November 2015 by Taxi Hack in Uncategorized

I was reading an ABC News/AP story a few days ago that said that the Russian military flew more than 500 sorties and destroyed more than 800 ISIS targets in just four days, as well as launching 101 cruise missiles from Russian naval ships. Six hundred ISIS scumbags were apparently sent to meet their 72 virgin goats in the afterlife in one strike alone. So it seems that the Russians have done more to defeat ISIS in FOUR DAYS than our President has done in two years.

Utterly disgraceful.

Say what you want about Vladimir Putin, but he is a LEADER, and when Islamic jihadists blow a passenger plane filled with Russian civilians out of the sky, he knows what happens next. He acts in a Presidential manner, and defends his citizens. Then Paris was struck with cowardly attacks around the city, and within days, French jets were pounding Raqqa. President Hollande didn’t ask permission, he didn’t send the matter to a committee, he didn’t consult polling numbers, he didn’t check in with the United Nations, and if he even bothered to “notify” anyone like the US or Russia, it was probably couched in terms of “stand the fuck back.”

Presidente Hollande acted Presidentially. For years, Americans have ridiculed the French as “cheese-eating surrender monkeys”, and I saw a British taxi driver I follow on Twitter refer to us as, “The United States Of America Chicken Wing Eating Surrender Monkeys”.

Touche’. Thanks to Obama, we had that coming.

This is at least part of the reason that Trump’s message is resonating with Americans. Trump isn’t my guy, but his message of “Make America great again” strikes a chord with patriotic Americans, even myself. No one in the world respects America anymore, certainly no one respects this President, and that is why the Iranians are surging toward nuclear weapons, Russia has seized territory in Ukraine, ISIS has indeed gone from the “jay-vee squad” to the Harlem Globetrotters, and China is building airstrips in the China Sea and hacking US computer systems with impunity. They look at Obama and see a giant pussy, more concerned with his “image” and “legacy” than US strategic interests, and they know they won’t likely see another US President this weak again, so they are moving NOW, while they can, before this feckless and inept President is removed from office.

I find nothing presidential about Obama, aside from his car, his plane, and his address. Jimmy Carter was a geopolitical genius compared to this clown. For all their flaws, Bill Clinton, Lyndon Johnson, and Jack Kennedy were giants compared to this idiot. At least none of those Democrat Presidents openly despised their country. But Obama, when questioned about his failures, gets touchy and indignant and blames others, usually Republicans, for his failures and his weakness, making himself look even smaller on the world stage. Barack Obama is a petulant child, in over his head, flailing about and hoping he can somehow come up with some rhetorical device that will lay the blame for his mess at someone else’s feet. Blaming Bush used to work, but it just isn’t working any more.

I sometimes sit in utter astonishment, just thunderstruck that I am living through the administration of the worst President in American history. James Buchanan will be ranked above Obama in 20 years, if the nation survives him. Obama doesn’t side with law enforcement, he sides with criminals like Travon Martin and Mike Brown and #BlackLivesMatter. Obama doesn’t side with Israel, he sides with Iran. Obama doesn’t support our veterans, he allows the VA to neglect them, and is perfectly OK with giant bonuses being paid to the administrators and bureaucrats overseeing that neglect. His IRS attacks conservatives, his Justice Department engages in illegal gunrunning, his EPA causes catastrophic environmental disasters, and no one ever gets fired, or even demoted. Obama attacks and disparages Christians and conservatives and law-abiding gun owners as a matter of course. Obama spews nonsense about global warming being the greatest threat we face, and then moves to allow thousands of unvetted Muslim refugees into our country, when ISIS has stated publicly that their strategy to get terrorists into Western nations is to blend in with refugees. He views his fellow citizens as his enemies, moreso than savages shooting up cafe’s in Paris and chopping off peoples’ heads.

Listening to Obama’s defensive and dismissive answers to reporters’ questions at the Antalya G20 meeting, I thought that this just isn’t how a President is supposed to talk. I am a giant mark for Bill Whittle’s “Afterburner” videos… been watching them for a long time. I recently got directed to these brief remarks from him at a dinner from 2012. It is fifteen minutes long, but it is worth your time, I promise. Right around the 7 minute mark, Bill tells us how a REAL president would have handled Benghazi, how to handle Iranian support for terrorism, and at the end, an unusual and possibly prescient prediction: that the next President won’t be a traditional politician, but an outsider, someone from the pop culture… interesting…

Hat-tip to HotGas commenter Schadenfreude for pointing this out to me a few weeks ago…

Hack’s Axiom: Quote Me On This

Posted: 14th November 2015 by Taxi Hack in Uncategorized


If you are a writer, you want to write something worth quoting, ie, “A rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet.” I can quote a couple dozen writers, from Shakespeare to Charles Dickens to Mark Twain to H.L Mencken to Hunter S. Thompson. But to be quoteworthy, you need to be saying something important, or at least memorable.

If you search the internet for the exact phrase, “These people are playing with matches”, dozens of links to The Pig Trap come up on Google. But oddly enough, as of this writing, my blog isn’t one of the listings, just people that quoted or linked to me. On the other hand, my blog comes up on the first page of Bing when searching for that phrase. Such are the mysteries of Search Engine Optimization… the site that quote originated on doesn’t actually make the list at Google. But the problem here is that I didn’t say that, a passenger did. I have always wanted to say something important and memorable, and as succinct as the Bard, or at least Mr. Wheeler.

Everybody has heard of Murphy’s Law; “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst possible time.” Do we even know who Murphy is? He seems mighty famous… he oughta get credit for that, doncha think?

Years ago, I heard Cole’s Maxim, an addendum and qualifier of Murphy’s Law, something a lot of people haven’t heard; “Murphy was an optimist.”

I’d like to have a law. Something short. Succinct. Ten words or less.



Conceptual bedrock.

Then I realized that I have spoken one sentence dozens of times, and even typed it several times here on this blog, originally in The Pig Trap. Coming from a marketing background, I thought Hack’s Maxim sounded really good… nice alliteration there. But then I realized I wasn’t exactly sure what a maxim is. So I looked it up, and the definition of a maxim is,

maxim |ˈmaksim|
a short, pithy statement expressing a general truth or rule of conduct : the maxim that actions speak louder than words.

A general rule…? No, that doesn’t work… maybe an aphorism…?

aphorism |ˈafəˌrizəm|
a pithy observation that contains a general truth, such as, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

No, that’s not right either… what about an axiom…?

axiom |ˈaksēəm|
a statement or proposition that is regarded as being established, accepted, or self-evidently true : the axiom that supply equals demand.

That’s it. Self-evidently true. So this is Hack’s Axiom:

What can not go on, will NOT go on.

I always say this referring to our current political situation, but if you think about it more generally, it holds up. If you drive your car without oil in the crankcase, it will eventually stop. That can not go on. If your favorite drinking game is Russian Roulette with a Colt Python, that will eventually stop, too. And if you are bedding your sister-in-law or your bosses’ wife three times a week on the clock, that will certainly end badly as well.

What can not go on, will NOT go on.

Thousands of illegal immigrants streaming across the border every month can not go on. Bankrupt entitlement programs can not go on. The Treasury borrowing trillions of dollars and printing worthless fiat currency based only on a promise and the fear of our military can not go on. Racist movements based on lies that encourage the killing of white people and police officers can not go on. Persecuting and prosecuting American Christians for following the basic tenants of their faith can not go on. Coddling and appeasing and negotiating with Islamic terrorists that enslave thousands, destroy historical treasures, kill people indiscriminately, behead Christians, rape little boys, stone women, hang gay people from cranes and toss them off rooftops can not go on.

And a lawless, corrupt government run by an elite oligarchy that plunders our treasury, bankrupts cities and even States, taxes the productive and redistributes wealth in order to curry the favor and votes of the unproductive, flouts the law as a matter of course, permits (and subsidizes) an organization like Planned Parenthood to massacre millions of infants and sell their organs, weaponizes the tax system to punish it’s critics, surveils the citizenry, and routinely violates the protections of the Constitution can not go on, either.

What can not go on, will NOT go on.

I called it in The Pig Trap; Lois Lerner is going to skate. She is being protected by the Obama Administration and the Justice Department, after consciously, deliberately, and illegally targeting political opponents of the current administration. Lois Lerner should live in fear for her personal safety for the rest of her life. If I did what she did, I would ask the FBI (while Obama is running it) to give me a new identity and bury me deep in the witness protection program… I’d get plastic surgery to alter my face, and retire to a tiny town in a heavily Democrat state, and pray I was never discovered.

And now the Democrat party is actually going to run a Presidential candidate that has been proven by her own email to have lied about the Benghazi incident, a candidate that emailed her daughter that the consulate was attacked by al Queda styled terrorists on the very night of the attack, but conspired with the Democrat President to put forward the lie that the attack was inspired by some obscure video that no one had ever seen, because Obama’s re-election was just two months away. They said it was just a protest, but somehow, the protesters brought AK-47’s and RPGs that night, not protest signs and flags to burn.

That movie maker spent more than a year in prison for that lie, by the way. Imagine if that was you, or your Dad… serving more than a year in prison, so Obama could be re-elected. Imagine how you might feel if your Dad or your brother or your son died that night in Libya, and having Hillary lie to your face about why they died.

What difference, at this point, does it make?

She repeatedly stated that this video was the cause of their deaths, and was revealed to be nakedly lying. She lied to Congress, she lied to the families of the people killed, she lied to the American people, and dispatched her flunky Susan Rice to cast those lies is concrete on the Sunday news shows the following week, believing that she was shielded by her private email server and her status in the political oligarchy, and would never have to answer for this.

But the Democrats are running her anyway, a candidate that has also been shown to have obscured and deleted documents required by subpoena, a candidate that operated a private email server while Secretary of State, routinely handling the most sensitive data without the most basic of security protocols, a server that has certainly been compromised by the Russians, the Chinese, the North Koreans, and the Iranians, located in a toilet in Colorado.

I used to run a website for a screen printing company that catered to the livestock industry, whose most expensive item was a $48 hoodie, and their web security was far superior to Hillary Clinton’s. If you don’t understand that EVERY SINGLE EMAIL Hillary sent or received during her tenure as Secretary of State is most assuredly in the hands of the Chinese government, you are even more of a moron than she is.

If you or I did just 1/100th of what Hillary has done, we would be in SuperMax for the rest of our lives. This is what I said about “us” versus the “political class” in The Pig Trap. Look at David Patreus… he just let some chick he was banging read some inconsequential material, but he was disgraced, sacrificed for Obama. His transgressions do not even approach Hillary’s. And yet an alarming number of people find Hillary to be a perfectly acceptable candidate for President. None of these facts matter to them.

Are you shitting me? How is this woman running for President instead of being perp-walked in shackles and an orange jumpsuit? The answer is, she is of the oligarchy. The rules for her are different than the rules for you. As I have said before, we don’t have elected representatives anymore, we have elected rulers.

What can not go on, will NOT go on.

The Second Civil War is coming, but World War III is coming too, and it will have a religious component that its’ two predecessors did not. And now this religious component is being freely imported into this country, making the United States a battlefield, where it was not in wars past. Europe is being overrun with Muslim “refugees”, but if you look closely, you will notice something odd.

Who flees a war zone? The people that can not fight, that’s who. But if you look closely at images of the “refugees”, you don’t see a lot of children. Where are the women? Where are the elderly? It appears that nearly all of the people coming to Europe are male, between 16 and 40. And Obama is talking about taking in THOUSANDS of these unvetted “refugees”, here in America, with no ID, no passports, just their word as to who they are and why they are coming. I understand the first group recently arrived in New Orleans.

And tonight, I am watching chaotic reports of coordinated terrorist attacks in Paris, with more than 150 dead, and everyone struggling mightily to not utter the word “Muslim” or “Islam”.

Right now, it is a coin toss as to which will happen first; World War III, or American Civil War II. Worst case scenario; they will happen congruently.

But this WILL end… one way, or another. 300 to 350 million guns in private hands says so.

There’s a lot of chatter of late about enacting tighter gun laws and restricting gun ownership in the US, especially from the Clinton campaign, so let’s conduct an exercise in easy math. Roughly half of the people in the US lean Republican or conservative. That’s about 160 million people, and those guys have a lot of guns. Of course a lot of those people have kids that don’t vote, but set that aside for the moment. According to polling, more than half of the people in this country say that America is on “the wrong track”, so that has to include some Democrats. Democrats have some guns, too, but since the Left in America is the party of gun control, it stands to reason that many or most of them are not armed, and support strict gun control in America, a la England or Australia. Both Obama and Hillary have pointed to Australia’s compulsory gun confiscation program as a model for America, in spite of the Second Amendment.

Let’s say that the next administration enacts sweeping gun regulation, and maybe even a confiscation program like Australia’s. Let’s also assume that they are extraordinarily successful, and manage to get a whopping 80% of American’s guns. Let’s also assume that the number of guns in America is at the low end of that scale mentioned above, 300 million.

80% of 300,000,000 is 240 million guns confiscated. That sounds pretty good, right? I think that is wildly optimistic, but let’s go with those numbers.

That still leaves SIXTY MILLION GUNS in the hands of a populace that will be very, very pissed off after that confiscation. I’m guessing that number is actually much larger. By comparison, according to Wikipedia, the entire active and reserve forces of the Chinese military are less than three million soldiers. And those guns and those men don’t have to cross the Pacific, they are already HERE, in San Antonio and Des Moines and Newark and Miami and Denver and Provo and San Francisco and Little Rock and Albany.

IF IT IS ONLY this small, there is a guerrilla army on this continent far greater than EVERYTHING China could possibly invade with… and every single one of them knows where to get more bullets and a hot meal, tonight. And supporting them, at least another 80 or 100 million people that won’t take up arms themselves, but will give aid and comfort to them.

When you present a gun control idiot with these facts, they sputter and dither and say, ” You can’t take on a government that has machine guns and fighter jets and tanks and drones and artillery and nuclear bombs!”

Anyone who says something this moronic hasn’t read the newspaper in a long, long time, and they haven’t read much history, either. The massive British fleet sailing into New York Harbor in 1776 was the 18th century equivalent of The Death Star arriving in New York, and while the ensuing battle was a huge loss for the revolutionaries, it wasn’t enough to destroy them.

To borrow a surfer’s expression, locals rule.

Iraq has been lost to the locals, because Obama abandoned it. Afghanistan is on the verge of being lost to the locals, after nearly fifteen years and thousands of deaths and lost limbs, and tanks and drones and fighter jets and nukes don’t seem to be working there, either. If all the military might of the US government can’t stop illiterate 7th century religious fanatics and child rapists and goat fuckers in Iraq and Afghanistan and Syria, how will they stop college-educated marksmen in America, trained by the US military, that know how to make their own bullets, know how to build sophisticated IEDs, know how to operate their own surveillance drones, know how to conduct cyber attacks against the government, and have internet access?

Does Vietnam ring a bell? Our government defoliated wide swaths of the jungle with noxious chemicals and napalmed thousands of acres of forest, had total air superiority and battleship support, and yet, they were eventually overcome by illiterate rice farmers with rusty AK-47’s and bamboo punji sticks. I know a least twenty superior soldiers, far better armed and trained than Tran from the rice paddy. You would think that as a Vietnam veteran, Secretary of State John Kerry would have some illuminating thoughts on this matter.

It seems like the political class in this country WANT chaos… they WANT to borrow and spend money until the economy collapses… they WANT to encourage a stream of immigrants that breaks the back of the welfare system and causes rampant crime… they WANT to allow radical islamists into the country… they WANT to encourage blacks to kill police officers… they WANT to release thousands of hardened criminals onto the streets… they WANT to tax patriotic Americans into poverty… they WANT to persecute Christians to the point that they rise up…

Why? Are they evil, or are they just plain stupid?

Is it the Cloward/Piven strategy, to cause so much chaos that the populace WANTS to live in a police state, just to end the chaos they created? Does the oligarchy really think that they will be safe and protected in their Green Zones when civil society collapses? It’s like they WANT something to snap, because they think they can handle it, and that will give the political class in this country absolute power and control. If that is what they think, these people are utterly delusional, or as Mr. Wheeler said, playing with matches.

Let me reiterate that I DO NOT want any of this shit to happen! I want patriotic leaders and our Constitutional process to right this ship, but currently, that process seems to be failing. I am raising a five year old little girl, and I want her world to be nothing but unicorns, coloring books, flash cards, Ninja Turtles, Barbies, and Bubble Guppies. I don’t want to have to explain to her why her government is tyrannical. I don’t want to have to explain to her how our economy collapsed or how our money isn’t worth anything and she has to go hungry because our political class destroyed our civilization. I do not want to have to warn her of the dangers from lawless Mexican gangs or an Iron Age religion that wants to subjugate her, rape her, mutilate her vagina, or cut off her head.

I don’t want any of this. I have a genuine aversion to violence. But if you insist on bringing this shit to my doorstep, I promise, I will kill you.

I’m not a soldier. I’m not a radical. I’m not a terrorist. I’m not a militant. I’m not an insurgent. I’m not even a revolutionary.

I’m just an American… I’m just a Dad. And I know a lot more Dads, too… just like me. We aren’t going to tolerate this shit much longer. I can’t tell you how many angry people I have encountered in my car, completely fed up with the insanity that is our government. There is a simmering rage in this country, not from people that covet power, but from ordinary people that just want to go to work, raise their families, and not be outraged and offended daily by what their government is doing, and can’t seem to vote this incompetent, corrupt, and greedy oligarchy out of power.

Quote me on this… What can not go on, will NOT go on.

I’m sure some people don’t believe me when I say wasted women will proposition a taxi driver, but it is true. It’s not some Penthouse Forum “Gee, I can’t believe this happened to me ” fantasy; it happens rather frequently. I have noticed that it happens less often for me now, and I think that is because over the years, I have become much more selective about who gets in my car, and really wasted women can be a puke risk, not to mention that every once in a while, shit like this happens. Back when I was new at this job, I was under the impression that I had to pick up anyone, but the bar for entering my car has been elevated significantly over the years, but even so, it still happens.

Just three weeks ago, a drunk but very attractive woman fifteen years younger than me grabbed my crotch and suggested that if she could somehow spend the night with me rather than where I was taking her, I would be amply rewarded. Yes, she’ll be in the book. Had I decided to spring for a seedy $60 motel room, that pussy was there for the taking and I could have torn it up all night long, I’m certain of that. But setting aside the fact that I am married, I have often said that you just can’t know for sure if this woman is just a horny drunken slut, or a psycho that will call the cops and have them scraping semen samples out of her panties once she sobers up, and then you find yourself in the pokey for five or ten or twenty years on a rape charge… it’s just not worth the risk, no matter how hot she looks or how much she says she wants it.

A reader emailed me this story, and it is a textbook example of how this shit happens. Go read this story, watch this video, and then let me critique what you are seeing.

OK, let’s review and go over the After Action Report. What stands out in this story? Right off the bat, the video is of remarkable quality, because it was shot in the daylight. That was the first thing that stood out to me, because this shit always happens in the dark. I usually punch out between 2 and 4 AM, and in my experience, this shit always happens after midnite, and always following copious consumption of alcohol. My teammate Mike The Noob who works day shift always says that one of his favorite times of day is early Saturday and Sunday mornings, when these girls that went out the previous night and hooked up with some random dude from the club are making their Walk Of Shame home, painfully hungover with smeared makeup and fucked up hair and wearing their skimpy little dresses and slutty shoes that might have looked pretty hot last night, but now look rather whorish in the bright glare of the morning sun, as the church-going crowd is heading out to worship.

The newspaper report states, “[The woman] has acknowledged in a previous interview with | The Times-Picayune that she was drunk when [the taxi driver] picked her up in his White Fleet taxi near Bourbon and Bienville streets on the morning of April 6, 2012.”

Wait… what? The sun is up and she is still drunk? Sounds like one helluva night… but she doesn’t seem really drunk in the video, does she? She appears to have her faculties about her, and seems very sincere in her desire to screw this taxi driver.

Moving on, the taxi driver turning on the video camera on his phone was the smartest thing this guy did. I told a story about another taxi driver who made this mistake in my post The Perils Of Taxi Pussy, and in his case, after voluntarily returning to the “scene of the crime” and telling the officers his side of the story, they believed him more than the woman he banged. But that was an aberration; it isn’t the cops’ job to determine innocence or guilt, that is for courts, judges, and juries to decide. If a girl says she was raped, they typically cuff up the accused and take him to jail, and the cop gets to sleep easily that night, content in the knowledge that he got a rapist off the streets, whether the taxi driver was actually guilty or not. So in this circumstance, any supporting evidence you can provide will be of value.

On the other hand, his wisdom in firing up the video recorder on his phone is completely negated by the fact that it appears that his dick is already out of his pants and she is stroking it. I can’t really tell from the pixelated video, but if so, Dude… seriously…? How did your dick get out of your pants? You have already let this situation escalate way out of control. I can say with complete confidence that no passenger of mine has ever seen my dong. In this particular circumstance, I believe the driver’s story would be stronger if the only genitals on display belonged to this woman.

Though the video doesn’t show it, the article says, “As he drives away, Farrell [the driver] can be heard muttering, “You made me blow a (expletive) load, you (expletive) whore.”

Am I the only taxi driver on the planet that has seen an episode or two of CSI: Miami? One word: DNA! And tell me again, why was your dick out of your pants? This guy is so lucky that she didn’t smear that load into her panties, because if she had, he would be going inside for all day.

So the driver calls the cops; again, probably smart, because he wants to be on the record about what happened, and she got charged and convicted with simple battery. And whaddaya know, it turns out that the hosebag in his car isn’t just some barslut, she’s a lawyer with a radio show… that escalated quickly, huh?

And then some time later, the woman called police and claimed that the taxi driver filmed her cooch surreptitiously and tried to blackmail her via email for $60,000, a claim that should be simple to prove by forwarding his email. A warrant for video voyeurism and extortion was issued without anyone trying to contact the driver or his company or looking at the previous police report, and a routine traffic stop got the driver jailed and got his face on the local news. He subsequently lost his taxi license, and now this affair has spun into a federal lawsuit… just because some horny chick wanted to get laid and was rebuffed.

These are the sorta headaches I don’t need, and they are all simply avoided… just don’t go there. Nothing good can come of this. The chances that a random piece of ass procured in a taxi will not have serious consequences are roughly 50/50, and if you have a wife or girlfriend, those odds start to seriously plummet. Think of it this way; if you worked for a plumber or a landscaping company or an AC repair company or a pool service and the female customer asked you to come into her bedroom and bed her, would that be OK with your boss? Have you EVER had a job where it was OK to literally SCREW your employer’s customer? And even if you are self-employed, do you want your face on the local news and want all your current and prospective future customers knowing you had sex with a customer, and the consensuality of that sex is in question? Even if you are totally innocent and blameless, how is that good for business?

Just don’t go there. A random piece of ass is just not worth it. If you are extraordinarily lucky, she is just a horny chick that wants to get laid, and you are conveniently the last male she will see tonight. But if it goes badly, you could be out of a job, probably out of a wife or a girlfriend, and maybe doing twenty years in Pound You In The Ass State Penitentiary.

Don’t drop the soap…

[EDIT] I notice that this video is not displaying on my iPad. I tried to extract the video so I could convert it to something I could host locally that would display properly, but so far I have not been successful. If any of you guys can pull this video down and send it to me, I would appresciate it.]

Way To Go, Trayvon…

Posted: 22nd August 2015 by Taxi Hack in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Black Lives Matter?

Ehhh… opinions vary…


Fear And Loathing In The Bunker

Posted: 17th August 2015 by Taxi Hack in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

I’m still in awe of the Trump campaign, and his continued rise in the polls. And I am also loving watching the establishment GOP candidates and political class squirming and flailing about, trying to counter the Trump insurgency, and trying to find some weapon to wield against him. GOP Pundit Rick Wilson called him “a giant, epic douchecanoe” on national television… color me impressed. That’s a term an irate taxi driver might use with a drunken idiot that puked in his car, and it is a sign of just how pissed off and frustrated the establishment GOP is.

Just to be clear, I’m 100% behind Ted Cruz, and not a Trump supporter. But that doesn’t stop me from enjoying watching him put the boots to these stooges, and all the disruption he is causing. I don’t see a downside to Trump right now, because if he has a spectacular flameout in a few weeks or months, nearly all of his support will fall to Cruz, with a little spillover to Carson and maybe Fiorina. Should he actually win, he will be compelled to follow up on some sort of immigration reform, and that would be a start.

I was talking to someone in my car a few nights ago and I repeated several of the things I said in Trumpzilla, and I had an inspiration for my first video. I just created a YouTube account, and created this video this afternoon. I hope you find it funny.

Here’s the thing… as I write this book, I often wonder if I have found my voice, and the publishing world will hate it. I’m not sure I want an editor to correct my grammar and tell me to not use words like “douchenozzle” and “mutherfugger”. I would like my book to be available in print at your local Barnes and Noble, but I might be forced to go the self-publishing route. We shall see. But if I do have to self-publish, I need people to know about me, and I need to be able to reach out to my readers.

So if this video gives you a laugh, gimme some love on FaceBook and Twitter, email a link to your friends, and please sign up for my mailing list. I have had this mailing list thing for a couple months and still not used it, so I’m not spamming people with it. It’s only purpose is for news about my book.

And if you really like it, click that “donate” button on the left, and help me get out of this car. Several people have tried to set up recurring payments, and I really appreciate that, but somehow that doesn’t work… PayPal support says the banks stop it as a fraud protection measure, but I don’t know… I seem to remember being told a lot of porn sites have recurring monthly memberships, but whatever. The recurring donation thing never works.

Help me get out of this car. I made this video in two hours… I could do this shit all damned day, if I didn’t have to drive…

Quick Post For The Cops

Posted: 15th August 2015 by Taxi Hack in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,


I had an incident tonight that will definitely be in the book, an event that required calling the police. As these “ladies” were being placed in their new mode of transportation, I said to the 6 or 8 officers standing around me, “You know what driving a taxi for five years has taught me? It has taught me that I could never have YOUR job, because if I was issued a badge and Taser, I’d be lighting up three people a night.”

They chuckled at that, one officer in particular, and as I was leaving, I said to that officer, “Hey, I can tell you have a sense of humor, and there are few occupations that can identify with my typical customers… I blog about these wasted idiots, and I am actually writing a book, too… check this out, you might enjoy it,” and I handed him the card I sling to direct people to my blog.

He said, “You blog about these people? That’s awesome!”

Another officer said, “Reminds me of that show Taxicab Confessions…”

I said, “Read the card.” He read it out loud, and they both started laughing. So I ended up passing out seven or eight cards to the officers, and I hope they remember to visit.

Guys, hats off to all of you… as a law-abiding citizen, I am a big supporter of law enforcement, and you were remarkably patient and professional with those nitwits, a credit to your agency. You certainly gave them more slack than I would have. Go read a really old post of mine about another interaction with the police, Obnoxious Bitches: A Tragedy In Four Acts.

Please leave a comment on this post if you come by!


Posted: 7th August 2015 by Taxi Hack in Uncategorized


I like to think that I’m someone that takes politics seriously… what our politicians do has direct and indirect effects on myself and my family, so I pay attention. So many people in this country are utterly clueless about what our so-called “representatives” are doing on our behalf, and they blissfully vote for the same damned criminals, year after year, without even knowing what they are up to. Hillary Clinton’s campaign stands as a towering monument to the indifference, ignorance, and apathy of the American electorate. She should be in jail, and anyone NOT named Hillary Clinton would have been booked and fingerprinted months ago. But an alarming number people will still vote for her, because they are so stupid and uninformed that they believe that Hillary is looking out for them, and it is okay if their girl breaks the law, in the furtherance of the progressive agenda.

Normally, I wouldn’t even consider Trump’s candidacy a serious thing, but yet it is… and the establishment boneheads in the Republican Party and the liberal media hacks can’t understand how this is even happening. What the fuck is this? This shouldn’t be possible, like Evel Knievel or Mr. T or Hulk Hogan or The Most Interesting Man In The World™ guy jumping into the race, and pulling away from the pack by double digits immediately… how can this be? What the fuck is going on?

You know who is responsible for Trumpzilla? The brunt of the responsibility can be placed at the feet of John Boehner and Mitch McConnell. Obama rammed through ZeroCare on a procedural stunt, and America howled. The Republican establishment whined, “We can’t do anything unless you give us the House.”

A historic wave election put them into power in the House, and nothing happened. They whined, “We can’t do anything without the Senate.” Another electoral gullywasher handed them the Senate, and nothing happened.

These spineless, impotent limpdicks are precisely what has made Trumpmania possible. They will not stand up to Obama on ANYTHING, be it ObamaCare, Executive immigration reform, the EPA, the IRS targeting political opponents and everyday citizens, radical Islam, and all the sundry day-to-day crimes this administration commits on a typical Tuesday. This is what an American roar sounds like, ladies and gentlemen… the people that are paying attention are really pissed off, especially the taxpayers that pick up the check for this lawless government.

The status quo will not work much longer, because the people that are pissed off know that if it does continue for too long, the result will be violence and bloodshed not seen in this country in 150 years. What can not go on, will not go on.

And that is why every time Trumpzilla stomps on another building, his polling goes up. The media has pronounced his campaign dead seven or eight times, immediately followed by a three point bump in the polls. He can’t be bought, he can’t be told to shut up, he recognizes that the country that made his fortune possible is in serious trouble, and he doesn’t give a fuck if you are offended by his “tone”…

As I am typing this, the first debate is about to begin, and part of me hopes that The Donald comes out dressed like The Humongous from The Road Warrior, rasping into a hand-held microphone and waving a scoped revolver around… sorry, but I am loving this moment in American Political History. This shouldn’t be happening, but the establishment dipshits that The Pig Trap was written about simply refuse to listen to people that put them in power, and this is the result.

But they will be forced to listen, very soon… one way, or another.

At the time I posted this, the poll at has Trump the winner at 48%, with Ted Cruz second with 13%. Jeb comes in at 2%. Haven’t I been told by the liberal media for years that Jeb is the SMART Bush?

I Just Despise Liberals

Posted: 22nd June 2015 by Taxi Hack in Uncategorized

Two posts in 24 hours has never happened here before, but I woke up today to see something that pissed me off bad enough to take my coffee into my office and fire up Photoshop…


Am I the only one that remembers Sarah Palin being blamed for the Gabby Giffords shooting, for putting “targets” (actually printer’s registration marks) on a map of Congressional districts? Liberal media and progressive douchenozzles were losing their minds trying to somehow blame Sarah Palin for the act of a madman. But the liberal media believes THIS is an appropriate way to portray a Presidential candidate, and transmit this image around the planet?

So much for “new tone”. When the time for The Realignment comes, don’t forget these mutherfuggers… the media is complicit in all of this. Know them by name. They allowed this, they abetted this, they are the ones creating this atmosphere, and they deserve to be put against the wall first.

Vignette: The Tea Partier

Posted: 22nd June 2015 by Taxi Hack in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Gadsden flag

In theatrical script writing, sketch stories, and poetry, a vignette is a short impressionistic scene that focuses on one moment or gives a trenchant impression about a character, an idea, or a setting, and sometimes an object. -Wikipedia

I was sitting outside of a bar early on my shift a week or two ago, right around 6 PM or so, and a British guy in his early 60’s comes up to my window. I asked him if he needed a taxi and he said, “I do indeed.”

He’s obviously more than a little drunk, and I asked him where he needed to go, and he grins wide and held his hands out to his sides and said, “Look at me! The sun’s not even down, and I’m a fucking disaster! I need to bloody well go home!”

That made me laugh, and I told him to get in. He’s drunk, but not too bad, and in my experience, British people are competent to above-average drinkers and can usually keep their shit together, much better than Americans. He wants to go to a nice waterfront neighborhood that should be about an $18 or $20 ride, so I loaded him up and we are on the way.

We are chatting on the drive, and he says, “Bloody hell… what a fucking disaster! I had to get up early for work this morning, but then I got talked into coming out and meeting some mates, and now I’m pissed and just knackered, and I have to be on the pitch at seven in the morning. It’s going to be maftin tomorrow, bloody miserable with a hangover…”

I used to work with an all-British crew for about two years, and we drank hard in those days, so I speak pretty good drunken British. I knew what “maftin” meant (hot and muggy), but I said, “On the pitch?”

He said, “Rugby tomorrow, which is played on a ‘pitch’… what you Yanks would call a ‘field’…”

Seeing as this gentleman was at least 10 years older than me, I said, “Aren’t you a little long in the tooth to be playing rugby in ninety-degree temperatures with a blinding hangover? You must be one tough sonofabitch…”

He laughed a little and said, “Oh no, I don’t play, I’m a referee… but it is still going to be dreadful.”

I laughed and said, “Wait a minute… a rugby referee? I don’t know anything about rugby, other than it is really popular in Australia, and our cousins downunder really are some tough sonsofbitches. I know rugby has goals, but I didn’t think rugby even had rules, let alone referees… do they keep score? I thought they just beat the shit out of each other for an hour or two, and counted up bruises, stitches, broken bones, and missing teeth to decide who won.” He laughs, and then goes back to bemoaning his sorry state, and about how he needs to roll out of the house by 6:30 because they will be playing at 8 AM, and he fears he is going to be hellishly hungover in the morning.

As I am driving down his street and getting close to his house, he says, “That’s my place up ahead on the left, with the big Dodge truck.” And as we get closer to his house, I see that his huge pickup has lettering on it for a boating business, and a massive trailer hitch jutting out the bed of his truck, just like on a big-rig. He apparently can come fetch your 100 foot yacht and tow it to the shop. He also has a gigantic Gadsden flag flying from the corner of his house, at least eight or ten feet wide.

I started laughing pretty hard, and said, “I’m sorry… I just never expected to see a British man flying a Gadsden flag… that’s awesome!”

He replied, “I’ve been an American for my entire life, I just had the misfortune to be born on the wrong bloody continent. 240 years ago, I would have been shooting at these pricks myself. I know more about our bloody Constitution than most people BORN here.”

I said, “Our Constitution? You are a citizen?”

He said, “Nearly fifteen years. I must have spent a million dollars over the years, moving my business here and rebuilding it here in The States, paying taxes that you wouldn’t believe, year after bloody year… I INVESTED in America, and it just chafes my ass to see the state of things today.”

I replied, “Sir, I am saddened and ashamed to say it, but you are probably correct about knowing more about the Constitution than most… and I think you are probably overestimating your fellow Americans. I believe it’s going to take something very loud and very messy to wake these people up. As a good American, have you availed yourself of your Second Amendment rights?”

The gentleman rolled his eyes at me as if to say, “Are you joking? “, and pulled $30 out to pay his fare. I looked at his Gadsden flag again and chuckled, and said in a faux British accent, “Fuck King George! Come on, say it with me! That has to feel good for an English-American to say!”

And the AMERICAN guy said in his British accent, “Fuck all tyrants. Fuck Obama.”

He got out and headed to his door, but stopped in front of my car. He extended his middle finger, and even though my windows were up and the AC was running, I heard him yell, “And fuck Hillary Clinton as well! Piss off! Don’t tread on me!”