Well, my friend, you certainly got your drink on for Halloween, huh? As one of my regular passengers and a reader of Taxicab Depressions, you like laughing at me and my stories about the vodka zombies I drive around, because you are the guy that always maintains some semblance of sobriety and doesn’t go too […]
Posts Tagged ‘Drunks’
Clayton Makes The Blog
Posted: 4th November 2013 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Drunks, Zombies
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My New PC And Assistant Taxi Driver Annie
Posted: 22nd October 2013 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Drunks, The Job, Zombies
Taxi drivers use the term “PC” to refer to a passenger that calls a driver directly when they need a ride. I don’t really know the origins of that term, but I have always assumed that it is short for personal customer or personal caller. I have noticed that drivers from the northeast like New […]
You Dairy Queen Muthafuckahs Ain’t Shit, Bitchezzz!
Posted: 11th September 2013 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Drunks, The Job, WTF?, Zombies
As I have mentioned before here and here and here, people lose the most astonishing things in taxis. Phones, wallets, sunglasses, knives, cocaine, joints, beer, condoms, shoes, lip gloss, and even medicated vaginal wipes… But last weekend, I had a passenger forget the most surprising item ever. I rounded a corner right after bar close […]
Vignette: A Girl’s Little Necessities
Posted: 11th August 2013 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Drunks, Vignettes
In theatrical script writing, sketch stories, and poetry, a vignette is a short impressionistic scene that focuses on one moment or gives a trenchant impression about a character, an idea, or a setting, and sometimes an object. -Wikipedia I was sitting outside a bar last Thursday nite, diagonally parked next to another taxi from a […]
Gay Pride Week: Take One For The Team
Posted: 12th July 2013 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Drunks, Taxi Pussy
Gay Pride week was really good to me, as always… I do love me some gay people. Almost always fun, hands-down the most reliably generous tippers, and I have only had a couple of problem passengers that were gay in the entire time I’ve been driving a taxi. Some drivers are a little phobic about […]
The Perils Of Taxi Pussy II: Amber
Posted: 14th June 2013 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Drunks, Taxi Pussy
I had a passenger the other nite I wanted to document while she is still fresh in my mind. As I told you in my previous post The Perils Of Taxi Pussy, it just seems to be my karma to get unhinged psychobitches that are out of their minds on drugs and alcohol, and they […]
Vignette: Career Counseling
Posted: 10th June 2013 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Drunks, Vignettes
In theatrical script writing, sketch stories, and poetry, a vignette is a short impressionistic scene that focuses on one moment or gives a trenchant impression about a character, an idea, or a setting, and sometimes an object. -Wikipedia I roll up to a red light downtown on a Friday night, and there is a couple […]
Flashback: The Bridesmaids
Posted: 9th March 2013 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Drunks, Taxi Pussy, WTF?
Ahhh, springtime in Florida… wedding season. Every girl wants that picture-perfect May or June dream wedding on the beach at sunset, and people come from all over the country to have a wedding on the beach. And so where I work, it is quite common to see a gaggle of 5 or 6 girls in […]
Early Contender For Passenger Of The Year
Posted: 13th February 2013 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Drunks
In this seemingly neverending parade of drunken douchebags and surly whores, you occasionally get a passenger that restores your hope for humanity. I got a call a few nights ago to pick up a couple at a local restaurant about 1:15 AM. I called the number on arrival, which was the restaurant’s number, not my […]
Be Polite, Be Professional, And Have A Plan To Kill Every Person You Meet.
Posted: 4th January 2013 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Douchebags, Drunks
Our Marines in Iraq and Afghanistan have a motto they live by, and it works pretty good for taxi drivers as well… “Be polite, be professional, and have a plan to kill every person you meet.” Very sound and prudent advice, indeed. So a guy flags me down at bar close and he looks OK… […]