Had to put down one of my dogs Monday… I mentioned Roadkill before, but never mentioned Riley, my Black Lab. Riley was very old and very sick, arthritic, going blind, and riddled with tumors, and his time had come. As George Carlin said, you aren’t buying a pet, you are buying a small tragedy. Riley […]
Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
As I have said more than once, the main point of this blog is just simple therapy for me… I just need a creative way to blow off steam, and beating my wife, taking up recreational heroin, or soaking these drunken douchebags down with bear mace and leaving them gasping and writhing in the gutter […]
America is at that awkward stage. It’s too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards. Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do ‘Til the Revolution (1996) I had a very memorable and thought-provoking passenger a while back that I never wrote about because while I found him fascinating, he seemed […]
Vignette: Snail Trails
Posted: 5th April 2014 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Drunks, Taxi Pussy, Vignettes
In theatrical script writing, sketch stories, and poetry, a vignette is a short impressionistic scene that focuses on one moment or gives a trenchant impression about a character, an idea, or a setting, and sometimes an object. -Wikipedia Sometimes you don’t really have an opportunity to strike up a conversation with people, and sometimes it’s […]
I have been getting some complaints from my passengers, regular readers, and even some of my fellow hacks that I haven’t posted for a while… I apologize for that. It certainly isn’t for a lack of material, that’s for certain… sweet Jesus, I almost got arrested a couple of weeks ago after some drunken idiot […]
Clayton Makes The Blog
Posted: 4th November 2013 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Drunks, Zombies
Well, my friend, you certainly got your drink on for Halloween, huh? As one of my regular passengers and a reader of Taxicab Depressions, you like laughing at me and my stories about the vodka zombies I drive around, because you are the guy that always maintains some semblance of sobriety and doesn’t go too […]
My New PC And Assistant Taxi Driver Annie
Posted: 22nd October 2013 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Drunks, The Job, Zombies
Taxi drivers use the term “PC” to refer to a passenger that calls a driver directly when they need a ride. I don’t really know the origins of that term, but I have always assumed that it is short for personal customer or personal caller. I have noticed that drivers from the northeast like New […]
I heard this for the first time the other night, blasting out of the speakers in front of a tittie bar. Not exactly promoting wholesome family values or empowerment for women, but I have to admit that I like this tune. If this job had a soundtrack, this little ditty would definitely be on it…
You Dairy Queen Muthafuckahs Ain’t Shit, Bitchezzz!
Posted: 11th September 2013 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Drunks, The Job, WTF?, Zombies
As I have mentioned before here and here and here, people lose the most astonishing things in taxis. Phones, wallets, sunglasses, knives, cocaine, joints, beer, condoms, shoes, lip gloss, and even medicated vaginal wipes… But last weekend, I had a passenger forget the most surprising item ever. I rounded a corner right after bar close […]
Shit Should Be Better
Posted: 6th September 2013 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Politics, The Job
I was sitting outside a bar on a slow weeknight last week, when I saw a heavy-set black woman walking down the sidewalk toward me. She was wearing a tank top, shorts, and flip-flops, carrying a hardback book in one hand and what looks like two plastic grocery bags of clothing in the other. She […]