You never forget your first puker. Within a month or two of starting this job, I got a call to a tavern nearly an hour after bar close, so I assumed I was getting a waitress or some other staffer. The parking lot is almost deserted of cars, but there is a young guy standing […]
Archive for November, 2011
I’m not a game player, but I love the ads for the Call Of Duty games. I saw this once on TV and had to go find it… I’m posting here mostly so I can find it easily… it features Sam Worthington (Terminator: Salvation) and Jonah Hill (Superbad), with a quick cameo by Dwight Howard […]
Flashback: The Skankopottomus
Posted: 18th November 2011 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Taxi Pussy, WTF?
I got a call to a bar on a hot, humid, and muggy summer nite, and there are two girls sitting in the parking lot. This is always a bad sign; any time I pick up someone that is sitting on the asphalt, they are invariably really wasted. They get up and start weaving toward […]
Vignette: The Woman In The Parking Lot Of The Tittie Bar
Posted: 17th November 2011 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Vignettes
In theatrical script writing, sketch stories, and poetry, a vignette is a short impressionistic scene that focuses on one moment or gives a trenchant impression about a character, an idea, or a setting, and sometimes an object. -Wikipedia I turn in to cruise the parking lot of a tittie bar at closing time, and I […]
Open Letter: To The Gangsta-Wannabe Douchebag Weed Dealer That Lost His Pimp Cell Phone At The Bar
Posted: 16th November 2011 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Douchebags
You went out to the bar Friday night a few weeks ago, knowing full well that you would be an obnoxious wasted moron by closing time, so you called my taxi company to take you there. A safe, courteous, and professional driver took you to the bar, and because that driver likes to hang out […]
Roadkill: Part Two- Rump Roasts And Roadkill
Posted: 12th November 2011 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Roadkill
In the immortal words of Ron White, “I told you that last story to tell you this one…” My rather churchy and God-fearing wife sees the hand of the Lord in the most mundane of everyday events, even something like having dollar-off coupons on the very day that Publix has a two-for-one sale on three […]
A couple weeks ago, my mother in law was over visiting her granddaughter, and when she went outside to get something out of her car, and she said, “Hey, there’s a dog out on your porch…” And in a very “Corporate-American escalate-problems-up-the-ladder-and-get-this-shit-off-my-desk” mentality, my hunnee went outside, quickly surveyed the situation, and called out to […]
“Mexican People Don’t Eat Sugar, Especially When Its A Mixture Of Lice And Tiger DNA.”
Posted: 3rd November 2011 by Taxi Hack in UncategorizedTags: Politics
Alternate title: “Its Like Needles Come Through Grapes Now, And I Refuse To Eat Two Thousand Beans To Build Trust In These Crazy Cyborgs.” I’m trying to not put too much political content in here, but frankly, I’m a politics junkie, so it is going to come out occasionally. Obama is an abject failure, and […]
Halloween was kinda disappointing for me… oh, I got the usual parade of drunks and slutty babes, but now that I am blogging this, I was really hoping for a truly great Halloween story, but I didn’t get one. But then again, if you don’t drive a taxi, you don’t have a clue just how […]