Post For Albert: Butthurt Cream On Aisle Nine

Posted: 12th May 2015 by Taxi Hack in Uncategorized

So this douchenozzle stumbles upon my blog and posts a comment on The Pig Trap, only to find that the owner of this site has the audacity to moderate the comments posted on it, and then makes a second comment, where he says with great butthurt and much indignation,

Awaiting moderation? That’s pathetic! What are you afraid someone will say?

For some reason, when I read that, I hear the wasted idiots I have to deal with at work, whining that I won’t let them in my car with their red Solo cups of beer or their cheap pizza dripping with orange grease… I shouldn’t have to explain myself. I own this car, and no, you can’t smoke in it, either.

No, Albert, it’s not pathetic. I have a few good reasons for moderating comments, like keeping Louis Vuitton spam and inappropriate posts off my blog. There’s all kinds of crap in the comments of this essay that I don’t agree with, but I still posted them up… “freedom of speech” and all that shit, ya know. Unless they sounded dangerous or started going too far afield, I posted them up. But each and every one of them waited until I had time to read them, and I have been a little busy the last couple of weeks. You will wait, too.

I own this place, dude… just like my car. Ask me about my cake-baking policy.

In his original comment, Albert says,

Great article, and I agree with everything except the 3 names you mentioned. Ted Goldman Cruz-Sachs? Are you serious? What exactly makes you think that he is different from any other corporate-owned politician? Did he convince you with his pointless fake filibuster? There is no hero riding up on a unicorn to save us, and even if there were, his name is not Ted Cruz.

And I will approve this moronic comment, as well… even with the weird Ted Cruz bashing. That almost sounds like you get a check for posting this tripe. If you missed the cynicism in my writing, your reading comprehension is severely lacking. There are very few Washingtons in Washington these days, if any at all. These are the people we got, so whining that his wife works for a bank should be a disqualification? As opposed to running a personal email server, one that was extremely vulnerable to hackers, in order to circumvent the Federal documents law and deleting tens of thousands of documents, with a side order of obstruction of justice? This a big part of what The Pig Trap is about.

You “Ready For Hillary”, bro? She didn’t have a “Three AM Phonecall” from Benghazi, she probably had a live video feed, and the emails exchanged that night will never be seen… not for national security reasons, but for the personal security reasons of Hillary Clinton. And yet, she is somehow qualified to run for President. And now we learn that Hillary signed off on giving Vladimir Putin control of a lot of America’s uranium, in exchange for half-million dollar speaking fees for The Clenis?

I am utterly astonished that Hillary Clinton has not held a press conference to say that she has withdrawn her candidacy, and decided to spend more time with her granddaughter… the only marginally respectable out, at this point. I think she should be in an orange jumpsuit by now. And I am even more astonished that anything more than three or four percent of the American electorate finds her to be an acceptable candidate for President.

I wonder if Female Secretary of State Condi Rice could have gotten away with that shit… she’s black, ya know, so… don’t say “secretive” or “corrupt” or “entitled” or “bossy”, or you’re not only a misogynist, but a racist, too.

Ted Cruz, at the very least, talks about the Constitution the way I do. Today, he’s my guy. Until he reverses his position on the 2nd Amendment or some horrific scandal about Ted and underage hookers in the Bahamas surfaces, he’s my guy. Personally, I think the Republicans can skip all the debates and decide the nominee through a vigorous tournament of “rock-paper-scissors”, and dispense with wasting money attacking each other, and instead shine their light on the scandalous behavior of the Clintons and on the utter failures of the Democrat policy for the last decade. Even Jeb would be better than what we have, and what the Democrats are offering.

And, yeah… Ted reading “Green Eggs And Ham” to his little girls during his “pointless fake filibuster” was more principled and meaningful than anything John Boehner or Mitch McConnell have done to date, so, there’s that…

So I wonder, “Who does Albert support?”, and then I read this…

but I see no evidence that they are any different from Rand Paul, who talked a good game for a few years, capitalizing on his father’s hard-earned credibility

Okay, now I get it… that says a lot about you, dude. Ronulans… they can’t be reasoned with. I love this line from Allahpundit

Let’s face it. If he did start talking like this, he wouldn’t lose a single supporter.

I like Marco and like what he has to say, but I disagree with him on immigration. I like Rand, but disagree with him on foreign policy. I love watching Christie talk smack to union goons, but his 2nd Amendment position is a non-starter for me. But so far, I can’t find a single thing Ted Cruz has said that I disagree with, so he’s my guy. He’s more Constitutionally-grounded than anyone I can think of in recent history, more intelligent and cunning than most people believe, and an excellent extemporaneous speaker. He doesn’t need teleprompters, he doesn’t even need notes. Talking about America is easy, when you know it by heart. Personally, I can’t wait for the debates…

Anyway, sorry about your butthurt, Albert, but your comments are approved and posted now.

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  1. Drunken Sailor says:

    Beautiful. Simple, to the point, succinct, and Beautiful. Nothing makes me smile like hearing or reading about a whiner, or liberal (yes, the those terms are often interchangeable) get a smack down. Keep them coming

  2. Navy EOD Guy says:

    I never leave your site without a good laugh. Glad to see you’re back up & writing.

    Can’t wait for more of your dark & humorous tales that happen in your cab. Especially the drunken wenches.

    Keep up the great job!

  3. Ken says:

    I have tried this twice. The site asked me to say something useful. I like your writing, and I assume the software is counting characters. I hope this is useful. The site, however, can kiss my ass.

  4. Aguila1952 says:

    Welcome back! Been missing your writing and wit!

  5. MM says:

    100% dittos on Cruz.

  6. Alyric says:

    I remember several years ago, when I first heard the name Ron Paul. Someone had linked to something relatively sensible he’d been talking about in regards to the economy – at least more sensible than most other politicians. For about five minutes, I thought he seemed like a sensible politician.

    Five minutes later, I ran into his foreign policy ramblings, and that was that.

    I think today that I’ve settled on “At least he’s honest, because if more politicians were that honest, we’d know to stay as far away from them as from Ron Paul.” Not exactly a ringing endorsement, but there you have it.

    I like Cruz, but I’d prefer someone with executive experience. As much as I want Walker to stay governor here in Wisconsin, I really hope he runs.

  7. JimB says:

    Ron Paul scares the beejeebers out of me as a politician. I wonder about his medical theories. brrrrrrrr

  8. Jack Crabb says:

    I like Cruz as well. Like you, I have a hard time finding any of his positions disagreeable with me. The best thing about him is that the left thinks he’s “bat shit crazy”. I love when they claim he is an extremist and polarizing….as if Clinton wasn’t! And when I ask them what policy position he holds that is so “extreme”, they change the subject.

    So far, the media haven’t really said too much about Cruz, which is a good sign that there is little hidden behind the door with him. But we should brace for an avalanche of lies should he start to lead the pack.

  9. Doubletrouble says:

    Yep… I’m a Cruzer too.

  10. John Jeremiah Smith says:

    Cruz is a zionist who favors the extreme dominance of American politics and foreign policy by dual-citizenship Israeli-Americans.

    We don’t need that. We need an American president who works for Americans.

  11. SlickWilly says:

    I just can’t stand it…

    Okay, deep breath…

    So Ted Cruz made a very mild jab at Joe Biden this last weak. “Joe Biden… no punch line necessary”

    And now has apologized since Joe recently lost his son to brain cancer.


    The jab in no way denigrated the son, brain cancer, or Joe’s loss. It took aim at a legitimate public figure. (MY first thought when I heard the son died of brain cancer was, “the kid must have inherited that organ from his mother…”)

    Moreover, Joe himself has NEVER wasted a chance to capitalize on a political opponent’s misfortune in his entire political career. This guy is the definition of “creepy old guy,” and regularly makes tone deaf remarks along the lines of Marie Antoinette’s “let them eat cake.”

    Remember during the post 9/11 scares, when then VP Cheney was at a ‘undisclosed location’ to protect from terrorists? After the first scare when Joe was Veep, he told a dinner party where the location was. HE ENDANGERED HIS OWN LIFE, along with those assigned to protect him, and forever removed that site from such use. This cost taxpayers millions because Joe had to be the big man at the party. He is just clueless.

    This list goes on and on, ranging from the inane to the plain stupid (“get a double barrel shotgun, and shoot both barrels into the air from a balcony” Which disarms the home owner, is illegal in most municipalities, and assumes the EVERYONE HAS A BALCONY to retreat to)

    BUT because Biden is a Demo-rat, and we no longer have real journalists in the Main Stream (liberal) Media, Ted must apologize.

    Had the remark gone the other way, no apology would have been necessary. No one would have cared that a conservative was smeared, unfair or otherwise.

  12. purple raider says:

    Cruz is a Zionist?

    He just sounds better every day!

  13. Brad says:

    A agree with most of what Cruz says, but I can’t stand listening to that soft, whiny tone of his. I can’t tell if he sounds more like a Baptist Preacher at a funeral, or a slightly-homosexual guidance counselor.

    Of course at this point, it’s all just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, right?

  14. BigAlSouth says:

    I’ll stay at home if the race becomes Tweedle Dum (Jeb!) and Tweedle Dee (Hildabeast). Cruz is the only person in the race who respects the constitution. I enjoy his debates and the pathetic attempts of his opponents to out think him.